LET’S BE HONEST, life happens. And if you are like me you lose yourself in the hussle and bussle of it all … suddenly everything you’ve planned to do gets moved up first by a day, then by a week, then a month and then you forget. Of all the things we forget I have found it’s our self neglect that comes back to bite us in the behind. I’ve been spending a lot of time apologising to myself and re-dreaming lately. Somehow over the years I’ve allowed myself to live a life with little to no intention, simply going with the flow, if the wind blows west I’m there, if it blows east I’m there. If the wind is not blowing at all you’ll find me curled up in bed doing God knows what … maybe a bit of social media and way too many naps. If you know me well enough, you will know that this is really not who I am … I’m the girl with the plan. Even a solo plan for that matter, I’m never really idle and when I’m around my crew I’m the girl with a crew plan. It’s get up and go with me whether you like it or not. I’m all about the good times and the good vibes! LOL. So this has really been out of character.
I’ve had a lot of time to reflect lately and I know the cause of all of this, and really aint nobody got time to dwell … so I’ve made the following five promises to myself:
- EAT HEALTHIER AND EXERCISE AGAIN
This year, if anything, has taught me the power of food and nutrition AS WELL AS the constant battle between this and emotions. I, like most girls and I dare even say plus size girls, am an emotional eater. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the poster girl for over eating, you know the type where a big girl’s sitting on the floor with all the burgers, pizzas, chocolate cakes and crisps on planet earth. I junk out when I’m in an emotional state, that’s the first tell tale sign, even when I’m in denial, but my weakness is sugar. So needless to say in the past couple of months, I’ve moved from extremely healthy to double checking if my chocolate bar is actually really finished and where on earth I can get a refill at this time.
BUT, now that I’ve snapped out of that mentally (guys you need to spend time with your thoughts, denial is so so wrong), it needs to start manifesting in my food choices as well. One other thing that went away with the healthy eating was the exercising … good heavens now that I start a little later at work, you’d think because this has been my ultimate prayer in like for ever I’d be using the extra hours in my morning to do what I’ve always wanted to do, exercise among them … lol but no, missy over here is awake at 5am every day and stays in bed until she can’t handle her grumbling stomach at something to 9am and then in a panic I start preparing for the day as work starts at 10am … guys …l et me just keep quiet about the bad habits I’ve fallen into. All that needs to be known is I’ve made a promise, enough is enough.
- CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK – FORGIVE YOURSELF
So like we make some foolish decisions in life, and it’s the gift of hindsight and only the gift of hindsight that shows us just how foolishly stupid we were. Unfortunately these silly moments do come with a lifetime of consequences and can redirect the course of your life forever. So it’s okay, you can be like me and throw a pity party. But guess what, sooner or later you are going to be the only one left at that party and when you get over it life will have passed you by. So what? You’ve made a life altering mistake and at times it’s life altering mistakeS … we wouldn’t be human otherwise. Give yourself a break, forgive yourself and lets figure out where this new direction in our lives is taking us.
- MAKE TIME FOR THE THINGS AND PEOPLE YOU LOVE
This is by far the most important to me – having rekindled this practice I’ve realised how important it is to not neglect the things that make your heart sing and the people that make living incredibly worthwhile. Life happens, no two ways about that, but I do believe the happiest people hold this dear to them as well. I mean what kind of life would you be living without doing the things that make your blood pump and sharing them with those who celebrate you?
- DRESS UP AND MAKE UP – EVEN IF YOU HAVE NO WHERE TO GO
LOL! **hides head in sand** so these days I really don’t care what I look like so long as I make it out of bed and fulfill my responsibilities for the day, those being responsibilities to myself, my son, and my job. Anything else really will have to wait for me to have one of those days or weeks, and they come shame, where I feel like being extra, and then we are right back to not caring … I mean. But then again, rewind to me a few years ago, anyone who knew me then would be shocked to know I wear flip flops to work when I feel like it, why? Because I couldn’t care less and have no energy to look through my closet for better shoes. And then there are the weeks when I’m on some, WOW LOOK AT ALL MY CLOTHES AND ALL THIS MAKE UP (this used to be everyday me) and I rock a fresh look every day for five days … and then I’m like, nah fam … miss me with this stuff. Lol now here’s the funny truth that I can never explain to women who have never worn make up and don’t intend to. Make up, like dressing up is like putting on an armour for the war of daily life, for me. And usually that armour is a simple, I feel good, I look good, I smell awesome, nothing can touch me, I dare you to try. And guys, honestly, looking as good as that, life itself feels the threat and backs off, as opposed to the woe is me posture, life will get you man when it sees you down it prepares to keep you there. And then of course, who on earth doesn’t want to have their slay on fleek on the daily. LISTEN, I’m over whatever this spell was, I’M BACK! Hahahaha!
- MAP OUT YOUR DREAMS, SPEAK THEM INTO LIFE, WORK HARD
I remember telling my mom last June something I’ve always wanted to do. It started with a “One day I will be ABC”, my mom’s reaction was classic but it woke me up, for all of two seconds. In Xhosa she communicated how I’ve been saying this for forever and when exactly was I actually planning to be ABC. It sounds harsh I know but she’s encouraged me every other time to be ABC. I gave her an honest response though, I told her it will happen when I learn to master the fear. And usually that’s what keeps most of our dreams from coming true. We are so darn scared of so many things and instead we become content with watching other people live out our dreams while we play a minial part in someone elses dream all the while burying our own as we go along. I used to have a dream book, funny enough in that book I had set myself a lot of blind deadlines – blind in the sense that I had no idea how to work towards attaining any of what I wanted. So as part of this promise I’m digging up that book, going back to the drawing board, refreshing my dreams, making time for personAal development and networking and setting new intentional deadlines. I’m going to work my behind off and I’m going to speak those dreams outloud as if they already were. I’m going to do that until I see something happen.
Also, the one cliché we’ve probably stopped caring about that matters most with any change is this: Take it one day at a time. And this I intend to do.
What tips do you have to get out of rut or a bad patch? Please comment down below.
Until next time!