I’ve never been one to care much about who knows how old I am. I’m actually probably strange in that I look forward to getting old. Not necessarily aging, no one really wants that, but the wisdom that comes with accumulating years, as well as the crispness of a brand new start.
That’s how I’ve always viewed birthdays, as a fresh start, a chance to start over, try again, set new goals, introspect, dream a little larger and be a little braver. None of us are ever exactly where we thought we would be at any given age. Perhaps that’s too general, if you are lucky enough to have ticked the boxes off all the goals you set yourself when you were younger, well great, good going! Most of us – and I often hear women lament that at 25 they are not married, with child, living in a lush yard with a white picket fence – are not there yet. Most times these kind of goals don’t bother me at all, I still had a lot of growing up to do at 25. However, I have never set goals to be married, with child living anywhere at any age. Foremost in my dream scope for me was always living a life I’d be satisfied with. A life I wouldn’t need to hide or run away from. And a life that was not dependent on anyone to mean something. My journey has always been about self-revelation and self-awareness. Don’t get me wrong, at some point those other frills have to come as well, I mean, you get it right. However, they were never really a focus of mine. I got the kids so I guess I’ve got something to tick off that list, lol. I cannot imagine a second of my life without my children.
Finding and re-finding myself over the years has been a beautiful journey. There is power in hindsight, the realisation that there are fires only designed for you, and the gravitas of the question: who would I be if I hadn’t gone through that? With the amount of work I’ve put into myself, the grave mistakes, the glorious victories and the inevitable set-backs, I have learnt that most things start with personal perception. Perceive who you are first, what your message is to the world (and by world I mean those you interact with, in whose lives you can make a difference), and live an authentic and honest life.
It sounds simple, but personal perception is perhaps one of the hardest things one has to grapple with. We are constantly changing, yes there are values that forever remain intact, but we are always evolving, our convictions are constantly tested and we’ve been blessed with the power of choice, so who I choose to be today may not be who I want to be tomorrow. This makes it difficult to reach a full level of self-awareness and perception. Here’s what. We try anyway. It is in mastering ourselves, who we truly are, that we manage to master our lives and our worlds. If you have no idea who you are, then honestly and sadly you give up your power to those who wait with bated breaths to make you who they want you to be. You cannot be everything to everyone, so why not start with being everything to yourself first and then the rest can take what you give them?
Life is a journey of self discovery. Take interest in all aspects of yourself. Work on yourself the hardest.
At 33…
This is what I know.
xoxo
